Going, going.... go...

I am not sure which is the way forward... So I'll just do nothing.

I hope that would not amount to having done nothing... I just want to d right. Maybe I also want to be right... But at what expense...? I'm tired of post paying... Want to pay now and get the benefits after. Post paid is... always a trap!!! Believe me, I know...

So to do or not to do? Do I try to save this? Why am I the one thinking about saving? it should not be this way!!! There should be some element of reciprocity... I mean... So, if that, then...

So, to do or not to do...? To go or to let go...?

Still first things...

I remember my firsts with varying feelings. Shock. Amusement. Amazement. Uncertainty. Embarrassment. Sometimes, down right shame!!!

Well, I guess it's my choice what I feel about stuff I've done. As a personal motto, I do not entertain regrets! Period!

So, back to firsts... I remember the first time I wrote a poem. I think it was about some guy being the ace or something. It was a lovely poem and I totally was knocked off my feet at the depth I had in me. I used to do a lot of thinking and writing, in my head! But actual poetry? I thought that was for Shakespeare. Besides, no one around me was so inclined. My poem got a lot of props and then... well here I am, writing for fun, and hopefully for someone's else's pleasure. I remember my first play. Cant forget that one. I titled it the Quest. Its a very trado-satirical piece (my blog, my choice of words, my business!)Someone asked to let him produce it... I declined, graciously. I think I'm going to go dig it out and do it up for publishing or production. Hmm... I remember my first song... I think the lyrics are still somewhere floating around in my head. I remember my first choreographed dance... I was determined to dance, whether I had the skills or not. Two years down the line, I was called a natural. It's been a while now, but I am going dancing again. Tomorrow to be exact!

I remember my first crush. He is still 7 years older than I am. He was my first friend, first kiss, first plenty plenty things (and I'm not thinking hat you are thinking) I remember my first awareness of my feminity. The day I first felt very 'woman'! And I remember my first crushbreak (lol!) It was hard and intense, like everything else about me. I wish sometimes that I could be as surface as some folks. Its either deep or not there. I think I think too much...

I remember my first relationship. Full blown, we-are-dating-publicly arrangement! He was cute and well... a lot of other things... I remember my first break-up. Guess who? It was painful, expensive (yes o! break ups are tres costly! I do not advice it!)and complicated. I wish I knew then what I know now. But that's part of life, learning and growing, right? I remember my first rebound! Gosh, was that a mistake or what? It took about 15 months, but it was still a rebound! And now he's hanging around my messenger yarning stuvin's!! Like I look stupid to you???

And of course, I remember my first love. It was sweet, unassuming, innocent and romantic... poetry and art, fun and laughter,... I still remember 'cos I do not want to forget. It ended. Sharp and abruptly. And started again. Now I don't know if its over again, or its just about to begin. I remember cos I just cant forget...

First times

Hey,
I am sure this is your first time on my blog?

Mine too!! (wow! We just met and we are alike already!!)

So welcome to think out loud all 'em things you too scared to say and sometimes to scared to think. This is Utopia. You can be you and I can be me. Comments and responses are appreciated. That's what makes writing worthwhile. I hope to challenge you to rethink your perspectives, I hope to challenge you to be all you can be. And I hope, more than anything to entertain and amuse you, so you'll keep coming back.

After all, if laughter be the food of life, laugh on, laugh on, my friend!!!